Trial

Our lives are constantly moving and yet I find myself stuck in the mundane routine that I repeat every week. Although in reflection each week is different to another, it often feels like it's blurred into one picture. Slight differences glossed over by repeated exposure. Tasks that was once exciting is now part of the daily grind. Stability is attractive feature but when does it go from stability to plain boring repetition? It seems that a line had to be crossed, from glorified state in which we all strive to be (or at least most of us) to a state of mind-numbing experience that utter chaos is looking pleasing. People often do this for so long that days, weeks, months, years and possibly decades have passed and without the even the slightest recognition of what we have achieved or at the very least what we have done. What have I been doing in the last 10 years? Is it simply the same thing I have been doing for the previous 10 years? I have physically aged and even my once prized processions no longer give me joy. Like the tide on the shore, day in, day out it comes and it goes. In the same motion everyday. When did my life become like this?

The younger version of me believed that the world was an exciting place, a place of adventure and intrigue. Where self discovery was a must and happens to everyone at some stage. Passion drove me and compassion humbled me. Somewhere between that ideal and the current state I must have gotten lost. In the comfort of stability I seem to have lost my drive, my love, me...